Today is a day that most parents will never experience, but there are some who do…
Today we referred Owen for a special evaluation with the school district. I have been on the other end of this… doing the evaluating, interviewing the parents, writing the reports, making the recommendations, etc… You would think that this would be easier for someone with my background. Nope – been in tears off and all day since I talked to the coordinator. Maybe I know too much. I feel like there is something else we could have tried, done, etc… that I missed. That is the mom side of me, while the professional part of me knows better.
I feel like I need to share this for a few reasons.
- I have talked about his health with all of you in the past with all of his Kidney issues and sometimes the therapy for me of typing it out is just what I need.
- I know I am not alone out there.
- I know that not everyone has my background, might be concerned about their child too, and just not know what to do.
- I plan to talk about this as we go through the whole process, so this is the starting point.
So – to answer the why…
Since Owen was about 2, we have been talking about his behavior. He is very smart, articulate, and amazingly funny and entertaining. He is also extremely overactive, sometimes aggressive, difficult to transition from one task to another, and very very often impossible to keep under some kind of control. When he was 2, we said it was just the age. When he was 3, same thing -because 3 is worth than 2 supposedly. Now that he is almost 5, we are still dealing with it. In any given day, we will ask him an uncountable amount of times to stop tackling Jacob, jumping on the furniture, screaming, bouncing, rolling around, hitting, and more. He will walk into things, has trouble sitting to eat, spills a lot, makes a huge mess when he eats, and that is just the start. Giving him a bath or shower is a battle of epic proportions.
What it boils down to is that he has a very hard time understanding his body in space, controlling himself, and expressing his anger or feelings without using his body. Matt and I go to bed exhausted every single night. We have tried reward programs, extensive amounts of exercise (him, not us…), and more. It has become apparent that when we send him to school in the fall we will probably get a phone call from the teacher the first week. So, in order to make sure they are ready for him and he is ready for school, we are going through a full special education evaluation.
I am terrified and happy all at the same time. I know we are doing the right thing for him, for us, and for the Kindergarten teacher. At the same time, my heart has broken again. His health issues often have me worried – every stomach ache makes me nervous. Now, with the behavior piece, I just feel completely overwhelmed – especially since we have finally verbally and actively acknowledged it outside the walls of our own home.
So… it has been a day.