i feel lost…

I feel disconnected and lost from my life.

I have been travelling for work… a lot.  I barely know my own home anymore.  I feel totally disconnected from my family, my friends, and my life outside of work.

This leads me to little, if any, time to craft, create, scrap, etc… as I am always on a plane, in a rental car, or in a hotel.

I know I should be grateful to have a cool job, and in this economy, any job, for that matter.  And I am, don’t get me wrong.  I just miss my family.

I have been home 3 days and then leave again tomorrow for the rest of the week. 

I think I am just having one of those sentimental days…  they grow up so fast and I feel like lately, I have been missing all of it.

Sometimes you just need to stop and think about stuff and I am having one of those lunch hours…

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “i feel lost…

  1. Stephanie Meadows #3584

    steph, I hope you feel better about everything soon. I know it’s hard and venting usually helps (and prayer).

  2. Barb #2975

    Hey Steph –
    Take a deep breath – relax – It will be ok 🙂

    I work full time too- it is hard (read impossible) to balance everything! I remember being in tears at my 1 yr post-delivery doc appointment, because I had been working and traveling a lot. The nurse told me something that stuck with me. They need love and holding when they are little… and they can get that from many different people… but when your kids are older, they need a parent around even more! My boys are now 12 and I hate to admit it, but they need a parent around more now (think supervision and making good choices).

    Ok, that probably doesn’t make you feel any better. Yes, like you, I’ve had to give up a lot – minimal scrapping time, personal interests, etc. – and parts of the house have become the dumping zone to be sorted through when I retire! (yikes!). But I figure the kids come first, then everything else. Lucky for me, they are the same age, so can be on the same teams (so I don’t have as much chasing around for practices/games/etc).

    One thing I did when I was traveling to Madison (yep, WI) was put together a ‘bin’ of crafty stuff. Luckily I was driving, so I always left this in my car. This is how I got into scrapbooking – I made my first Disney albums in hotel rooms at night. Now, if I had to do it over again, I would get into digital scrapbooking – that is something you can do anywhere (even in the airport!)

    Oh, and the other great side benefit is my DH is just as much of a caregiver as I am. He is soooo involved in my boys lives – I can’t imaging how much he would be missing out on – if I were the stay at home mom. This has been the surprise “plus” to being a working mom.

    I also had to learn how to say ‘no’ to outside commitments…. and choose what was important to me. 🙂

    Take care,
    Barb

  3. Aww hon, i just got back from nyc, boston and brazil and feel very blessed to be at home in LA now. I know how it goes, just try & enjoy the moments while you have them! (wherever you are)

  4. Linda A.

    Sending you lots of ((hugs)) – I always wonder how the community of “traveling crafters” is able to keep up the pace! I’m such a homebody, that I get stressed being away for a night or two – I can’t imagine doing it on a regular basis. I’m sure there are a million and one “techie” ways to keep in touch with your home and family while you’re on the road, but they can’t match a warm cuddle. The best you can do is try to enjoy the different aspects of your life and try to be really present for each of them. When you’re home, be *really* home, and enjoy every moment, and when you’re not, try to remind yourself that in 2009, having a job, any job is a Very Good Thing.

  5. Lisa

    Oh Steph, that has to be tough. You are so lucky to have Matt at home with the kids though. Not that it helps with your time. Hopefully you will catch a break soon and get some time at home.

  6. Meghan E

    *hugs* If there is anything I can do, work or friend related, to make your life easier – just let me know!

  7. hi steph,
    i’ll keep you in my prayers. i cannot imagine how you balance it all! i know when i was traveling alot when working for corporate america, it was tiring, and that was before i had kids!
    thank you for my package…you’re the best for remembering:)
    take care.
    erin yamabe

  8. Steph ~ I’m sorry you are missing your family so much. I’ve gone from stay at home mom to working full-time and I feel like I’m missing out on a lot with my own little ones. All we can do is make every moment when we are with them count. As for time for crafting, I’ve had to set it aside for now. There will be another stage in my life when I have more time for it, but I do miss it. Sending you hugs!

  9. Hey Stephanie – I’ve always been a working mom but never traveled much for work until they were in their teens. thankfully dad is a wonderful parent with flexible work hours who could be there when i couldn’t .I know the guilt of being a working mom – one thing that we did to stay connected as a family was to consciously take one weekend a month to get away – maybe just for the day – but to be alone and away form the house and just. be. These weekends later turned into camping weekends where we could just reconnect with each other. praying for you as you navigate these waters…

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